Saturday, January 29, 2005
Royal Rumble -- Superhero Style
On this weekend when our nation finds itself in the throes of one of its greatest cultural events, Charlie from Pittsburgh writes "Ask Yahoo" with the question, "Say there's a brawl with all the superheroes. Who wins?"
"Ask Yahoo," whoever that is, gives the extraordinarily predictable, and utterly prosaic answer -- Superman. Please! Maybe you "only read few comic books when I was a kid" types would answer that way, but us "wasted our lives in dark stores looking at picture books, spending WAY too much money" types would beg to differ.
This could be an excuse for endless posturing, pages of analysis, name-calling and general havoc throughout comicdom. But alas, I shall resist.
My short answer -- Batman.
Oh...so you want something that sounds like a reasoned argument? As if, something like that was actually necessary in a situation like this.
Simple, the guy's got no powers, but for over 60 years he has more or less beaten every opponent the fevered minds of comicbook writers could throw at him. This is a guy with a strategic mind beyond compare. Reed Ricards may be smarter. Superman may be stronger(not the mention the Hulk). Spider-Man may be more agile. Need I go on? But Bats just flat out knows how to win a fight. He'll find a way. Can anyone forget the penultimate scene in "The Dark Knight Returns" when Bats absolutely cleans Supes' clock. I never will -- one of the finest scenes in all of comics.
Scoff, if you want. Mock, if you dare. Posture all you like, but if you're not careful, I may just write the story, take it to a convention and see if I can sell it to anyone. Then it will be official. Then we'll see who gets the last laugh.
"Ask Yahoo," whoever that is, gives the extraordinarily predictable, and utterly prosaic answer -- Superman. Please! Maybe you "only read few comic books when I was a kid" types would answer that way, but us "wasted our lives in dark stores looking at picture books, spending WAY too much money" types would beg to differ.
This could be an excuse for endless posturing, pages of analysis, name-calling and general havoc throughout comicdom. But alas, I shall resist.
My short answer -- Batman.
Oh...so you want something that sounds like a reasoned argument? As if, something like that was actually necessary in a situation like this.
Simple, the guy's got no powers, but for over 60 years he has more or less beaten every opponent the fevered minds of comicbook writers could throw at him. This is a guy with a strategic mind beyond compare. Reed Ricards may be smarter. Superman may be stronger(not the mention the Hulk). Spider-Man may be more agile. Need I go on? But Bats just flat out knows how to win a fight. He'll find a way. Can anyone forget the penultimate scene in "The Dark Knight Returns" when Bats absolutely cleans Supes' clock. I never will -- one of the finest scenes in all of comics.
Scoff, if you want. Mock, if you dare. Posture all you like, but if you're not careful, I may just write the story, take it to a convention and see if I can sell it to anyone. Then it will be official. Then we'll see who gets the last laugh.
