Friday, June 01, 2007


Have I Told You How Much I Love My Father?

My mother is home in Indianapolis, with my sister, making dramatic improvement by the minute. I am back in Mississippi, alone with my Lord, my unconscious father, and my thoughts.

In an age where it seems like most people have "parental issues" I just love mine. I am tempted to write at great length about what a wonderful guy my dad is, but frankly it would sound like a eulogy and that is not where we are. I have a severly injured father who through age and pre-existing health issues is healing slowly, oh so slowly, but the doctors insist he will heal.

This afternoon I cleaned out what was left of their car. Amongst the items found was my father's key ring. Hanging thereupon was the medal I received as an athletic award for varisty football my senior year in high school, more than 30 years ago. I gave it to him sometime in college. Sounds like he loves me too.

This is both comforting and saddening. My dad and I talked several times a week and it may be the hardest thing in the world to see him like this and not be able to converse. I talk to him all the time, but I do long to hear him tell me I'm worng and immature. Funny what you miss when you "grow up"....

Thursday, May 31, 2007


Illuminated Scripture

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007


And God Said WAIT!

I am back home in California for a couple of days, but my heart and the vast majority of my thoughts remain at my parents bedside in Mississippi. I head back Thursday night. I keep telling myself that my parents raised me so I could leave them and that I cannot do them any good if I let me business fail.

My mother leaves the hospital tomorrow for a long trip, accompanied by my sister, via taxi and aircraft to their home in Indiana. She will be staying in a convalescent center. This will enable my sister to continue to move back and forth as my father remains critical. There is also the question of her dementia which has been kicked into serious overdrive by all of this.

My father has not really progressed in the last 36 hours. We are told this happens. His ventilator will move from his mouth to a tracheostomy tomorrow - this is to increase his comfort, they insist he will heal and that the trach is to help that process. This will happen during the 18 hours Thursday that neither my sister or I will be there. Please pray for the doctor's skill.

In 1985 I was myself in a serious auto accident and helpless for several days as the doctors tended to my wounds. There was much pain, and I had no resources of my own for several days, but that was nothing compared to the helplessness I feel watching those I love go through this. I cannot heal them - I cannot make this better - I cannot remove their pain. Even the doctors cannot do those things, all they can do is hold them up while God heals them.

Never have I more wanted a miracle and never has God more plainly said "Look to me and wait."

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Prayers and Reflections

This morning finds my wife and I back in California, albeit in my case for a very short period, until I return to my parents bedside. Your prayers have been felt and answered. My parents are healing, though in my father's case, quite slowly. While we remain hopeful, even confident, of complete recovery, we find ourselves now making very difficult decisions about longer-term care and management of their affairs. Your prayers remains cherished and needed.

Mrs. Blogotional has been my best personal blessing these days, a great support in a time of grave concern. She has prepared this personal reflection on our journeys.

The Trees of Mississippi

Those of you who stop by Blogotional regularly know that we have been in Mississippi. This trip was sudden and full of pain. We got the phone call everyone dreads, your loved ones are critically injured, come immediately. So we came. We came and stood by their beds and listened to the doctors’ reports. And we waited.

We were at a hospital in the Northeast corner of Mississippi. Right next door to the hospital is a small park with a walking track and beautiful trees. Trees very tall that took me back to my childhood. I grew up in the Northwest, the land of tall trees. Those trees reached skyward.

Also a reminder of my childhood was the speech patterns I heard all around me. The cadence of southern speech was a reminder of my father’s family. My father’s family from the South spoke with that lyrical rhythm, totally lacking in our northern clime. I didn’t get to see them much, but when I did I always had a sense of “home”.

So as we took breaks from standing by the bedsides of our loved ones I looked at the trees, standing splendidly and I let the sounds of the kind voices around me, wash over me. These were comforts, solace at a time fraught with uncertainty. We were far from home, the circumstances difficult and anxious. We walked among the Mississippi trees, giants, straight and beautiful. In our darkest moments we had to look up and the Mississippi trees drew our eyes skyward.

God comes to us in many ways, at different times. We are hard pressed at times to sense his presence or direction. Fortunately sometimes he leaves us very large signposts, like trees.

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Monday, May 28, 2007


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