Friday, February 11, 2005

 

Friday Humor

Joke One:

In the United States during the depression. Two professional men have been reduced to digging ditches as the only work they can find.

1st Man: "Y'know, those Communists seem to have some pretty good ideas."

2nd Man: "Like what?"

1st Man: "If you have two houses, you give me one."

2nd Man: "That sounds fair to me."

1st Man: "If you have two cars, you give me one."

2nd Man: "That sounds fair to me."

1st Man: "If you have two shirts, you give me one."

2nd Man: "Wait a minute. I ACTUALLY have two shirts!"

Joke Two:

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks, in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little."

"And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells with pride and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard!"

"I know," Melissa says. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow his butt up."

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