Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Something I Really Hate
Allthings2all carries a story about a Christian leader in New Zealand convicted of sexually assualting minors. Catez does a great job of discussing how confusing things can get for Christians in this circumstance, and she chastises me (albeit unknowingly).
I have far more experience with situations like this than I would like to have. In separate incidents, I have been very close to both perpetrator and victim. There are some things that need to be understood -- people who do these sorts of things are driven by compulsions that they can never rid themselves of. With guidance, and care, and compassion they can gain some control over those compulsions, but they must forever after be viewed with suspicion and care. In these instances even genuine repentance and forgiveness can never result in a loosing of the safeguards that must be erected around such individuals to prevent it from happening again. There must always be something of the pariah about a person who has done this sort of thing. A person that is truly repentant will understand that and invite the safeguards and the associated "scarlet letter," if not for themselves, then for the sake of their vicitims and potential victims. I am at peace with the perpetrator I have known, but it will forever be an uneasy peace, and it is someone I love dearly.
As to the victims -- they face enormous amounts of very hard work to bring their lives into some sort of normalcy. Many find it easier to wallow in the state of victimhood, fortunately the victim I have known did that hard work. My prayers are with them in this situation.
As to the damage this man and others like him have done to God's name and His Kingdom, only God can decide what to do about that in the end. Fortunately, I don't have to. I think Catez is right when she says
It is always difficult when a "Christian" is brought to justice for this type of offending. Often there is confusion - some people will get big on the need to forgive "the brother", and even suggest he should not be submitted to the legal process. My position, and this comes from having seen this type of scenario before, and from talking with victims, is that a true Christian would take responsibility in order to stop offending, and would take steps which show repentance. If the offender truly considered the damage to the victims, then he would not have qualms about facing up to his actions and owning them. In Capill's case, it was a victim who is now an adult who turned him in - years after his offending she was a bridesmaid at a wedding and he tried to kiss her. No sign of repentance from Capill there.She chastises me because my gut impulse in a situation like this is to string the guy up and do unspeakable things to him. The damage this man has done in the name of God, and to the name of God is almost incalcuable.
There's a certain kind of message - I could call it morality railing I suppose - which has always caused me concern. It seems to me that there is too much protest in that kind of message, and the harshness suggests to me that the messenger is off the beat. Not necessarily in the way Graham Capill was, but when some-one is trying to sell hostility as love it doesn't add up to a real Christian response.
I have far more experience with situations like this than I would like to have. In separate incidents, I have been very close to both perpetrator and victim. There are some things that need to be understood -- people who do these sorts of things are driven by compulsions that they can never rid themselves of. With guidance, and care, and compassion they can gain some control over those compulsions, but they must forever after be viewed with suspicion and care. In these instances even genuine repentance and forgiveness can never result in a loosing of the safeguards that must be erected around such individuals to prevent it from happening again. There must always be something of the pariah about a person who has done this sort of thing. A person that is truly repentant will understand that and invite the safeguards and the associated "scarlet letter," if not for themselves, then for the sake of their vicitims and potential victims. I am at peace with the perpetrator I have known, but it will forever be an uneasy peace, and it is someone I love dearly.
As to the victims -- they face enormous amounts of very hard work to bring their lives into some sort of normalcy. Many find it easier to wallow in the state of victimhood, fortunately the victim I have known did that hard work. My prayers are with them in this situation.
As to the damage this man and others like him have done to God's name and His Kingdom, only God can decide what to do about that in the end. Fortunately, I don't have to. I think Catez is right when she says
As Christians I think we need to be clear on these sort of issues.If the church is too quick and easy to forgive we run the risk of appearing to condone such things. If too harsh, we cancel out the gospel message. But the church must be crystal clear, we cannot afford ambivalence.
