Friday, July 15, 2005
A Place For Grace
I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have been told that I needed to be more "graceful." I am, by nature, a curmudgeon and I am prone to find fault in nearly everything -- particularly in church. Numerous are the times I have charged into the pastor's office to point out some mistake or slight or....
Sometimes I have been right to do so and sometimes I have not. I am still trying to find out precisely where that line between the two is. Lately; however, there have been some poeple in the Christian blogosphere crossing into the definitively "not right" area. I am not going to name names or mention what the issue is, it would just inflame an already combustable situation. I do want to talk about personal grace for a minute though, when do we and when don't we extend it?
We are all sinners, we all mess up, sometimes grandly, sometimes on a small scale, sometimes completely unknowingly, and sometimes it looks like it is our mistake when it is really something out of our control. Rarely have I met a Christian that makes a mistake with utter intention to hurt or demean -- it happens but it is rare.
Sometimes we compound our mistakes with further mistakes, but that too is generally unintentional. Usually when this stuff happens it is because we are so wrapped up in our own circumstances that we forget to do our best to consider the circumstances of the other.
Eph 4:26 - Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
When these things happen, the course is clear -- go to the people involved and try and work it out. I'm not saying you can always do so, but I am saying you have to try.
There is a grace and patience burden on both parties in such a situation. The aggrieved must approach the presumable offender, but this later party must be open to the approach, and willing to engage in the dialogue. When you are dismissive of someone with a beef, regardless of how silly that beef is, you just inflame things.
So, what does this say about blogging? I think it is pretty simple if you think about it.
Sometimes I have been right to do so and sometimes I have not. I am still trying to find out precisely where that line between the two is. Lately; however, there have been some poeple in the Christian blogosphere crossing into the definitively "not right" area. I am not going to name names or mention what the issue is, it would just inflame an already combustable situation. I do want to talk about personal grace for a minute though, when do we and when don't we extend it?
We are all sinners, we all mess up, sometimes grandly, sometimes on a small scale, sometimes completely unknowingly, and sometimes it looks like it is our mistake when it is really something out of our control. Rarely have I met a Christian that makes a mistake with utter intention to hurt or demean -- it happens but it is rare.
Sometimes we compound our mistakes with further mistakes, but that too is generally unintentional. Usually when this stuff happens it is because we are so wrapped up in our own circumstances that we forget to do our best to consider the circumstances of the other.
Eph 4:26 - Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
When these things happen, the course is clear -- go to the people involved and try and work it out. I'm not saying you can always do so, but I am saying you have to try.
There is a grace and patience burden on both parties in such a situation. The aggrieved must approach the presumable offender, but this later party must be open to the approach, and willing to engage in the dialogue. When you are dismissive of someone with a beef, regardless of how silly that beef is, you just inflame things.
So, what does this say about blogging? I think it is pretty simple if you think about it.
- Always remember, blogging is just words. Even if you are attacked, it's still just words -- in the end, words can only harm you if you let them.
- Try to avoid blogging out of passion -- I am guilty of this from time-to-time. I am trying to remind myself that even if a topic is "hot" in can sit a day or two and gestate in my mind so that I don't say something stupid or harmful. I get in a lot more "trouble" commenting than posting because comments are almost entirely off the cuff.
- Avoid ad hominum
- Limit discussion in posts, comments, and trackbacks to ideas. If you have a personal problem with someone, send an email.
- If you get an email from someone on a personal level respond promptly and politely.
- If you do not get the response you want, that is not a reason to take your beef public in a post, there is no way that can be constructive. Sometimes we just don't get what we want.
- We all have strongly held beliefs and opinions, but in the end we do not have the mind of God - there is no way to know if we are that right.
- People and relationships will ALWAYS be more important that ideas -- ALWAYS
I think I am fortunate -- I have yet to have a huge 'dust-up' surrounding this blog. I imagine there are some people somewhere upset with me, it's kind of unavaoidable, but they have not chosen to come after me about it. All my readers have my graditude for this blessing.
