Friday, September 09, 2005
Friday Humor
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that should help you decide.
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
The situation: You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a loaded Glock .40 caliber pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Here is a little test that should help you decide.
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
The situation: You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a loaded Glock .40 caliber pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
- Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
- Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
- Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
- Could we run away?
- What does my wife think?
- What about the kids?
- Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
- What does the law say about this situation?
- Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
- Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
- Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
- Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
- If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
- Should I call 9-1-1?
- Why is this street so deserted?
- We need to raise taxes and make this a happier, healthier street to discourage such behavior.
- This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading)....BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
DISCLAIMER: The source of this video is my wife, my blond wife.
