Friday, November 25, 2005
Friday Humor
Dedicated to Scotwise, who is one of the few people on the planet than can appreciate a pun this bad:
BONUS HUMOR:
THE NEW GERMAN POPE IN ALASKA
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing.
He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a
frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat,
wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a
tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing
around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached
up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of
them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed
the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you
my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a
bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental
activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that
guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has
access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure
doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding
up or do we need to go back to town and snatch another one?"
An anarchist was walking down a country road with a bomb hidden in his trench coat. He saw another man approaching him, and, fearing that this other person was a government agent, the anarchist rolled the bomb into a nearby pasture.With special thanks to Julie B - from who this is stolen as a whole.
A bull walked up to the rolling object, sniffed it and swallowed it whole. What is the resulting situation in a single word?
Abominable.
And what single word describes the situation five seconds later?
Noble.
BONUS HUMOR:
THE NEW GERMAN POPE IN ALASKA
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight-seeing.
He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a
frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat,
wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a
tree hugger hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing
around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached
up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of
them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed
the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you
my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a
bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental
activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that
guy?"
"It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has
access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure
doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding
up or do we need to go back to town and snatch another one?"
