Blogotional

Yeah, that's a pun on CS Lewis' book because Rebecca is writing about it, sort of. Rebecca has one of my favorite blogs, and this is the first time I have ever read anything there that I remotely disagreed with so I am going to tread as gently as I can. Additionally, the topic itself - grief and faith in crisis is very personal and very touchy, I wish to step on no one's toes here.

Rebecca's thesis, if I understand it correctly, is that a good, strong theological foundation is necessary to deal with grief well and to avoid a faith crisis. She is troubled by Lewis' faith crisis as discussed in A Grief Observed. Disclaimer: I have never lost a loved one as has Rebecca - that is a loss I cannot understand. I have; however, suffered a deep faith crisis in a time of personal betrayal, emotions and thoughts I believe somewhat akin to those of tragic loss.

Lewis' book is not to my mind a faith story, but an apologetics story. It's not about a crisis of faith, but about a crisis of apologetics and a finding of faith in that crisis. Let me restate that -- Up until the death of his wife, Lewis had his apologetics and an intellectual understanding of his Christianity. In the death of his wife he abandoned not his faith, but his reliance on his intellect, and discovered the personal God, and a genuine faith, a faith born not of reason but of the Holy Spirit.

I am grateful that Rebecca's story of grief does not involve a faith crisis, but I think that she mistates why. She initially quotes another blog to state her thesis

It is important to get your theology on track before disaster strikes. It won't spare you heartache. But it will spare you gratuitous heartache, and it will hasten the healing process.

But then she restates things out of personal experience -- note the shift in emphasis

In what I can only believe was God's providential preparation, in the years right before my husband's cancer diagnosis, we had together come to a much fuller understanding of a few things about God: that he was present and working in every bit of the universe all the time; that he always had right reasons for everything he did even though we might not (and probably wouldn't) understand them; and that suffering and death, filtered through his almighty hands, become chosen means by which he accomplishes good things.

In the end it was not her understanding that prevented the crisis, but "God's providential preparation."

I draw this seemingly fine distinction out of my own experience of faith crisis. Long before my crisis I well understood that "all things for for the good," but understanding and reality are two very different things. I've never met Rebecca nor discussed this with her, but based on my personal experience, I'm willing to bet that "God's providential preparation" involved far more than some bible study, book reading and idea formation. Somehow, I bet it involved a series of smaller, more manageable crises in which God's providence moved from idea to reality to solid sturdy thing upon which to lean.

I would argue that Lewis' experience recorded in A Grief Observed is not in contrast to Rebecca's experience, but in parallel to it, the difference being only in suddenness and severity. God, in His wisdom chose to deal with Lewis by a large, devesatating "blow." Rebecca on the other hand He chose to deal with through a series of small, perhaps forgettable, little "spankings" and corrections.

I am being very presumptuous with other people's experiences here and I am filtering them through my own, I apologize if any find that offense, but the point I wish to make is, in the end, a simple one. Our faith comes not from our understanding but as a gift from God. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He chooses to develop and grow that faith in the manners that He perceives are best for each of us individually.

God alone is sufficient.