Monday, February 27, 2006
How To Be A Superhero
Last week, Rebecca looked at boys becoming men and the role superheroes play in that, and me, being me, must comment on it.
Much like rutting males in the animal kingdom, physical confrontation between men is often more posturing than actual harm. Many, many times things defuse before actual blows happen because most of the time you can tell who is going to win before the fight ever happens. Since high school the only physical fights I have ever seen (I haven't had one personally) happened in cases of severly imparied judgement - usually by alcohol.
But I wonder, maybe we could solve problems much more directly and much more quickly and easily by dancing the dance, by intimidation and threat? Threats do require a willingness to carry them out to work, but men usually are.
Even Christ, in the end, resorted to violence to make a point. I wonder if we rob men of some essential maleness by teaching them that violence is never the way to solve a problem?
Related Tags: men, males, maturity, superheroes, fights, violence
Youngest daughter is twenty-one and works at a gym. A week or so ago she came home and told us about her day. A young man, a customer at the gym who is the same age as youngest son and still in high school, had been hassling her to "hang out" with him.I'm understand the pride a mother has when her son shows such signs of maturity. I am glad she has it. I also understand that youngest son's response was not yet the appropriate one for a first response, but I wonder, is there a time a man must get physical, or at least threaten to do so?
"We should hang out sometime," he said. He was nothing, if not persistent, even though she thought she was obvious in her refusal.
Oldest son's response? "What's his name? I should have a talk with him." Youngest son? "I'll beat him up!"
[...]
Yes, youngest son needs to learn a better approach to fixing these sorts of problems--a better phase one, anyway! And I expect that to come with time. A year ago, however, it would never have crossed his mind that this situation might require something of him.
He's one step closer to becoming a hero, and that, really, is what the briefs pulled up over the long johns when he was five were all about. Boys will be boys, and that's a good thing, because it's working to turn them into men.
Much like rutting males in the animal kingdom, physical confrontation between men is often more posturing than actual harm. Many, many times things defuse before actual blows happen because most of the time you can tell who is going to win before the fight ever happens. Since high school the only physical fights I have ever seen (I haven't had one personally) happened in cases of severly imparied judgement - usually by alcohol.
But I wonder, maybe we could solve problems much more directly and much more quickly and easily by dancing the dance, by intimidation and threat? Threats do require a willingness to carry them out to work, but men usually are.
Even Christ, in the end, resorted to violence to make a point. I wonder if we rob men of some essential maleness by teaching them that violence is never the way to solve a problem?
Related Tags: men, males, maturity, superheroes, fights, violence
