Friday, February 24, 2006
What's A "Kid" To Do?
Al Mohler linked to a couple of 17-year-old twins writing about the phenomenon of "kidults" - those that stay home post college and basically sponge off mom-and-dad.
I think this is one of the most interesting problems facing our culture today. While the article is about what kids can do, I really think the problem is parents. Reading this made me think of this post I wrote Wednesday.
But the real problem lies in the expectations parents create in their kids. The don't want to move out until they can buy, remodel, and furnish a house with a spouse. You should have seen the first place I lived on my own...the cockroaches moved out for a better opportunity.
I also wonder about what effect allowing kids to major in totally useless subjects plays. If your higher education is not career prep, won't you graduate behind the curve? That was the only rule my dad put on my college studies, which he paid for in large part - your major had to produce employable skill. If you want to learn just because it's interesting, go to graduate school, which you will pay for yourself.
And finally - financial circumstances required me to move in with my parents for a few months after I graduated - between my first and second jobs. It was miserable, truly miserable. Why are these "kids" content? Honestly what kind of Friday night can a twnetysomething have if he/she is going home to mom and dad?
Related Tags: Al Mohler, kidults, prolonged adolescents, stay-at-homes, twentysomethings
You can't read very far in your Bible before God addresses two things at the very heart of the kidult controversy: living with your parents, and getting married. In Genesis 2, we read, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (ESV). The biblical pattern is for young people to leave their parent's household in order to begin their own.If this was written by an adult, this kind of insightfuless fundamentalism would be irritating, but in kids like this its good to see them tackling the issue on any level.
This strongly implies that living with your parents before you get married can be a very good thing; provided you're doing it for the right reasons. If you haven't found Mr. or Mrs. Right, and it's more helpful to you and your family for you to remain at home, it's not just fine, it's biblical! Unfortunately, most kidults "stay-and-delay" not out of biblical conviction, but out of self-indulgence and sloth. And even more unfortunately, many of us tend to think and act more like kidults than biblical young adults.
I think this is one of the most interesting problems facing our culture today. While the article is about what kids can do, I really think the problem is parents. Reading this made me think of this post I wrote Wednesday.
when we do seek to help, we need to ask God for discernment in how best to do so. The most immediate response, particuarly in terms of relieving the pain is not always the best.If you're a parent with a 28-year-old college grad still living at home - WHY? I know a few such people and I get these truly lame excuses about how the kid can't get a job that pays enough to let them move out. What? - the kid never heard of a roommate?
But the real problem lies in the expectations parents create in their kids. The don't want to move out until they can buy, remodel, and furnish a house with a spouse. You should have seen the first place I lived on my own...the cockroaches moved out for a better opportunity.
I also wonder about what effect allowing kids to major in totally useless subjects plays. If your higher education is not career prep, won't you graduate behind the curve? That was the only rule my dad put on my college studies, which he paid for in large part - your major had to produce employable skill. If you want to learn just because it's interesting, go to graduate school, which you will pay for yourself.
And finally - financial circumstances required me to move in with my parents for a few months after I graduated - between my first and second jobs. It was miserable, truly miserable. Why are these "kids" content? Honestly what kind of Friday night can a twnetysomething have if he/she is going home to mom and dad?
Related Tags: Al Mohler, kidults, prolonged adolescents, stay-at-homes, twentysomethings
