Monday, November 27, 2006
Men And Confession
Dan Edelen over at Cerulean Sanctum usually has some pretty good things to say, and much of what he says in this post about men and confession is right on, but I think he also misses the boat a bit.
Dan contention is that confession is viewed by most men as unmanly somehow.
But before I get to it let me spend a few minutes reminding everyone that I think confession is the heart and soul of genuine faith - any call to confession is worth considering and worth hearing and listening to. I have no brook with Dan on that issue.
That said, I do think Dan over-reaches here a bit. The problem men have is not confession - it's the style of confession. There are ways to confess, then there are ways to confess. My point? There are ways to confess, ways to be broken that do not involve the sort of teary-eyed, "girly" kind of confession that Dan is referring to as being ostracized.
Consider Christ at the Garden of Gethsemane - confession so intense, confrontation with the ultimate brokenness - no tears, no wailing, but intensity. Consider Paul's conversation - do we read of implacable depression, uncontrollable weeping?
Look, I do not pretend like there is no such thing as pro-forma confession - confession without repentance or brokenness - I simply contend that there and many ways of expressing that repentance and brokeness, some of which may be conidered more or less "manly."
That said, there is a certain lack of grace in belittling a man whose expressions of repentance and brokeness may be less "manly" than others, for certainly gentleness is a part of manliness, as is grace - but to act like a "manly" confession is not a legitimate confession is troubling to me.
If there is a problem with perceived "manliness" it is a certain self-reliance, the desire to make ourselves better, rather than let God make us better. We Christians "shake it off" very differently than would your average football player - it's not a matter of trying harder.
I don't care if you weep, or yell, sit in the corner and shudder, or punch a hole in the wall, what I care is that you understand your essential need for Christ's grace and that you submit to that grace - man, women, child.
Related Tags: men, confession, repentance, manliness, expressions of faith
Dan contention is that confession is viewed by most men as unmanly somehow.
Is it any wonder then that so many men flameout in spectacular ways? And it's usually the man's man, not the confessional guy, who winds up incinerated. Why the enormous pressure? Are we that performance driven in the man's world that we can't handle a little personal confession?My difference with Dan is but a minute one.
But before I get to it let me spend a few minutes reminding everyone that I think confession is the heart and soul of genuine faith - any call to confession is worth considering and worth hearing and listening to. I have no brook with Dan on that issue.
That said, I do think Dan over-reaches here a bit. The problem men have is not confession - it's the style of confession. There are ways to confess, then there are ways to confess. My point? There are ways to confess, ways to be broken that do not involve the sort of teary-eyed, "girly" kind of confession that Dan is referring to as being ostracized.
Consider Christ at the Garden of Gethsemane - confession so intense, confrontation with the ultimate brokenness - no tears, no wailing, but intensity. Consider Paul's conversation - do we read of implacable depression, uncontrollable weeping?
Look, I do not pretend like there is no such thing as pro-forma confession - confession without repentance or brokenness - I simply contend that there and many ways of expressing that repentance and brokeness, some of which may be conidered more or less "manly."
That said, there is a certain lack of grace in belittling a man whose expressions of repentance and brokeness may be less "manly" than others, for certainly gentleness is a part of manliness, as is grace - but to act like a "manly" confession is not a legitimate confession is troubling to me.
If there is a problem with perceived "manliness" it is a certain self-reliance, the desire to make ourselves better, rather than let God make us better. We Christians "shake it off" very differently than would your average football player - it's not a matter of trying harder.
I don't care if you weep, or yell, sit in the corner and shudder, or punch a hole in the wall, what I care is that you understand your essential need for Christ's grace and that you submit to that grace - man, women, child.
Related Tags: men, confession, repentance, manliness, expressions of faith
