Monday, March 19, 2007

 

The Response To Soul-Weariness

Out of Ur recently posted on how pastors stay "healthy." It's a valid question, but I have to remark that I think it establishes a picture of a church completely out-of-whack. It intimates that a pastor is somehow more "Christian," certainly more spiritual, than the rest of us poor schlubs. I always thought that in Protestant tradition the pastor was to be a first among equals, not some vaunted and cosseted spiritual asthete.

Consider the want ad the post supposes to find a Spiritual Director:
SWM (Soul Weary Minister) seeks SMF (Spiritually Mature Friend) to help my inner person access God’s riches and experience triumph in my soul. I like long prayer walks in the park, guided sabbatical retreats, and reciting the daily offices. My turn offs are elder board meetings, church budgets, and Mrs. Clark’s mystery casserole. Please respond quickly, my soul needs urgent care.
Hey! I got news for you "Soul Weary Minister" - how do you think the rest of us feel. If you're a preaching pastor at least you must have an important part of your schedule to be buried in the Word deply each week. Us soul-weary elders have to carve time out of schedules as, or more busy, than yours.

It would seem to be, though my own experience in professional ministry brought me to the opposite realization, that if we are doing God's work on a full time basis, heck even a part-time or heaven forbid volunteer basis, we should be "soul-filled," not "soul-weary." If we are about God's business, I cannot help but believe that God will empower us.

Nope the state of affairs represented by this post says two things to me. First, if pastoral ministry leaves one soul-weary, perhaps the church is not about God's business. Secondly, if pastoral ministry leaves you soul-weary, perhaps you are not doing it right, and maybe not even called to it.

Perhaps my personal testimony will make my point best. I was indeed soul-weary while in professional ministry. The demands of feeding the organizational beast seemed at deep odds with the actual callng I felt. Soul-weary turned into soul-shattering as I left. Most of that is just too personal for this forum, but it was indeed an unpleasant situation. It took many years to reassemble a life, and one that is now, most definitely soul-filled.

Of course, I have periods of tiredness like we all do, but I truly feel I live the abundant life promised by Christ. I work like a dog, rushing from professional obligations to ministry ones, and things in between like blogging. But most of the time, I find the all that activity invigorating and Godly. By unharnessing myself from the shackles of the organization, and landing myself professionally in a situation where I am in complete control of my time, I am able to focus on meaningful and important ministry. I am also able to work in concert with others around me who may be gifted in such a fashion that what they consider important and meanginful is quite different than myself. Together, God seems to us us to accomplish the miraculous. Most of it quiet, most of it not making headlines or drawing numbers, but it is changing lives, that go on to change other lives.

My reaction to soul-weary pastors may not be what they are looking for. I think they need to re-examine themselves, their call, and their minstry. If you're soul-weary, you're not doing it right.

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