Thursday, September 13, 2007
Marriage and Happiness
Ben Young, writing at CGO, has penned a real winner on marriage:
The magic phrase "if only...," "If only I could find the right person," "If only I could make just a couple thousand more a year," "If only my teeth were straight," "If only...," "If only...," "If only...."
I think God wishes we were not sinners, but I also think God is happy. Clearly, part of learning to be God's person is learning that happiness comes not from the fulfillment of our desires, but from being in His very presence.
If we can but learn to lay down our desires and hold only to Him, we will find happiness and contentment in ways an to levels that we never dreamed possible.
Now, as I survey the relationship scene in our society today, I find that so many are saying, “I want to be on that road—the road to happily ever after. I want to find my soul mate,” or, “I want to find happiness in marriage.” But so many singles and so many couples, unbeknownst to them, are on the wrong road, so instead of relational happiness and fulfillment we see one wreck after another.Ther marriage/singleness thing Ben talks about here is but one sympton of a greater issue. God does not come to improve our circumstances and thus make us happy, healthy, wise.... God comes to change us into people that are happy, healthy, wise...REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCE.
We all know the stats: half of all first marriages in our country end in divorce. Sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. Eighty-two percent of blended marriages end in divorce. And I’m sure all those millions of couples desired to be on that road to happily ever after, but for some reason, obviously, they were on the wrong road.
[...]
I like what Gary Thomas said: “What if God’s real purpose in marriage is not to make you happy, but to make you holy?” Now, I don’t believe that happiness and holiness are mutually exclusive, but I do know that if you seek happiness directly you will never find it. Having a holy relationship with God, embracing your particular relational station in life, and seeing it as a means by which God is making you more holy—that will produce a more fruitful and happy life.
The magic phrase "if only...," "If only I could find the right person," "If only I could make just a couple thousand more a year," "If only my teeth were straight," "If only...," "If only...," "If only...."
I think God wishes we were not sinners, but I also think God is happy. Clearly, part of learning to be God's person is learning that happiness comes not from the fulfillment of our desires, but from being in His very presence.
If we can but learn to lay down our desires and hold only to Him, we will find happiness and contentment in ways an to levels that we never dreamed possible.
