Tuesday, November 20, 2007
What Leaders Learn
Russ over at the Eagle and Child looks at what he has learned about leading a church.
Let me give you, my clerical readership, some insight into being a lay leader. I cannot tell you how many pastors I have had give me extended and detailed analysis of my failures as a lay leader - they are numerous, and much of the advice I have gotten is good. But there is a rub - it is a very one way conversation, when it ought to be a negotiation.
I am not talking about one of those "Well, you said about me so I'm going to say about you conversations." I'm talking about the kind of conversation that is a attempt to subtly veil a "my way or the highway" thing. The kind of conversation that is essentially, "I'm the pastor, this is my style, you have to fit in with it."
Politics are politics, but that is something else. Here's the basic rule, it's not your church. As a lay leader, it's not my church either. It's not about my style or your style, it's about figuring out - TOGETHER - what God has in mind, and then doing it - TOGETHER.
How often I hear pastors discuss "their ministry" and treat the church as if it is an extension of themselves. Now, lay leadership has a great tendency to the same problem, which in the end is my point - it is that whole speck and plank thing.
The pastors that have offered me advice that worked are the ones that come to me first confessionally - the ones where we made it our goal to make the church better, and held each other accountable in that effort.
I know there are many lay leader out there with agendas and issues from hell. My suggestion, ignore them. But don't punish the ones that are trying just because they make you a bit uncomfortable, just because they challenge and stretch and question.
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That's because the goal in studying systems theory is to encourage pastors that by working on themselves, they can improve the functionality of the system as a whole. If a congregation is an emotional system in which all the parts exert influence...then any one part that is functioning in a better more balanced way will influence the whole towards balance. Part of the challenge is that when a leader starts functioning better (say for instance, setting boundaries so that he has a healthy balance of family time and church time.... or perhaps exerting a little more self discipline in time management, which decreases the kind of "available at the drop of the hat" time that was there before.... ), there's always pushback because the change affects other people. It may challenge them to take more responsibility for their role in the system. It may force them to deal with some of their own anxieties that they didn't want to deal with. But in the long run, somebody is going to have their feathers ruffled...and they're going to take it back to the leader. [emphasis added]Russ goes on to talk about the necessity to build a bit of a thick skin to deal with "the pushback," but it is that part I highlighted that really intrigues me.
Let me give you, my clerical readership, some insight into being a lay leader. I cannot tell you how many pastors I have had give me extended and detailed analysis of my failures as a lay leader - they are numerous, and much of the advice I have gotten is good. But there is a rub - it is a very one way conversation, when it ought to be a negotiation.
I am not talking about one of those "Well, you said about me so I'm going to say about you conversations." I'm talking about the kind of conversation that is a attempt to subtly veil a "my way or the highway" thing. The kind of conversation that is essentially, "I'm the pastor, this is my style, you have to fit in with it."
Politics are politics, but that is something else. Here's the basic rule, it's not your church. As a lay leader, it's not my church either. It's not about my style or your style, it's about figuring out - TOGETHER - what God has in mind, and then doing it - TOGETHER.
How often I hear pastors discuss "their ministry" and treat the church as if it is an extension of themselves. Now, lay leadership has a great tendency to the same problem, which in the end is my point - it is that whole speck and plank thing.
The pastors that have offered me advice that worked are the ones that come to me first confessionally - the ones where we made it our goal to make the church better, and held each other accountable in that effort.
I know there are many lay leader out there with agendas and issues from hell. My suggestion, ignore them. But don't punish the ones that are trying just because they make you a bit uncomfortable, just because they challenge and stretch and question.
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