Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Isolation
Kruse Kronicle quotes theopraxis on electronic media and the suburban culture
The great analysis buries the lead I think, "reduce the ability, desire, and personal connections needed to make meaningful change in ourselves and our communities." The primary means of the transformation we are promised by the gospel is relationship. This lies at the heart of my disdain for many recent developments within congregations, you know, the kind of development that ENABLE people to come to church, even connect with the institution, but never really connect with the other.
If the church is to be transformative, then the church must be a place of relationship building, or personal connection. Where does that appear in the list of "service offered" by the average church these days?
How do we foster this kind of connection? May I suggest by risking it? Go start connecting. Go make a friend. If the person you first try does not respond, try someone else. Learn a new hobby if that is what it takes to connect with someone, but connect, real live, in the flesh connection.
In the last three years I have lost, to death, the two closest male relationships in my life, my father, and my friend Ken. Fortunately, I have other close male friends, but I have also worked very hard to try and build more, and it is work. And all this has happened at a time when my professional life has burgeoned and been greatly complicated by business considerations related to my father's death, not to mention most of my close male relationships pre-date my marriage, which changes the friend making dynamic considerably.
The impact these men had on my life, on shaping who I am, is inestimable. At over 50 years of age, we tend to think of ourselves as pretty well shaped, and yet, I most severely feel the absence of these men when I run into the places where I am weakest, where I need them to help me be a better man.
So many today live life without that shaping force. That is not a good thing.
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....But my concern is specifically with the way in which electronic media interact with suburban culture. I'm convinced that there is a reciprocal relationship between the isolating effects of suburban geography, the counter-competent effects of chronic outsourcing, and the demotivating effects of electronic entertainment. Put simply - these three elements of suburban life reduce the ability, desire, and personal connections needed to make meaningful change in ourselves and our communities. An example perhaps will help to clarify what I mean - take sports, basketball for instance, something that I used to play regularly with friends in high school and college. I haven't played basketball in years, and if I thought of starting again, I'd face three hurdles: it's easier to get my basketball "fix" by flipping over to ESPN, lack of play has atrophied my skills (such as they were), and I don't know anyone else in my neighborhood who would like to get together for a few hoops. There it is - isolation, outsourcing, and entertainment all combine to keep me off the courts. And if I wanted to translate this into the area of Christian faith - well, I don't think I'd have much difficulty, would I?...My first comment is, having JUST returned home from the streets of Manhattan, this is hardly a purely suburban phenomena. I cannot tell you how many people I bumped into because they were walking down the street enjoying some form of portable electronic media. Nor does actual physical presence of the other help. I bet we have all seen a group of people, usually kids, walking down the street together, all on their cell phones talking to someone that is not there.
The great analysis buries the lead I think, "reduce the ability, desire, and personal connections needed to make meaningful change in ourselves and our communities." The primary means of the transformation we are promised by the gospel is relationship. This lies at the heart of my disdain for many recent developments within congregations, you know, the kind of development that ENABLE people to come to church, even connect with the institution, but never really connect with the other.
If the church is to be transformative, then the church must be a place of relationship building, or personal connection. Where does that appear in the list of "service offered" by the average church these days?
How do we foster this kind of connection? May I suggest by risking it? Go start connecting. Go make a friend. If the person you first try does not respond, try someone else. Learn a new hobby if that is what it takes to connect with someone, but connect, real live, in the flesh connection.
In the last three years I have lost, to death, the two closest male relationships in my life, my father, and my friend Ken. Fortunately, I have other close male friends, but I have also worked very hard to try and build more, and it is work. And all this has happened at a time when my professional life has burgeoned and been greatly complicated by business considerations related to my father's death, not to mention most of my close male relationships pre-date my marriage, which changes the friend making dynamic considerably.
The impact these men had on my life, on shaping who I am, is inestimable. At over 50 years of age, we tend to think of ourselves as pretty well shaped, and yet, I most severely feel the absence of these men when I run into the places where I am weakest, where I need them to help me be a better man.
So many today live life without that shaping force. That is not a good thing.
Prov 27:17 - Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.Technorati Tags:relationship. technology, connection, proverbs
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