Tuesday, June 03, 2008
A Start
Although I don't often write confessional posts, there is an issue that has been weighing on my heart. Certain discussions throughout the evangelical wing of the blogosphere have led me to finally speak up about an issue that I've tended to keep to myself. The problem concerns my faith: I am plagued by certainty.Let's call this form "confessional justification." To move away from Joe personally as rapidly as possible, let me describe the phenomena so we can talk about it impersonally. The form is essentially "I have a problem, but:
[...]
Yet while I recognize that theological certainty does not make me a special brand of saint, it also doesn't make me some perverse freak of faith. I shouldn't feel a need to hang my head in shame because I don't question the existence of God. I shouldn't be asked to dismiss the experiences I've had with the Lord as if there is a possibility that they are not real. I shouldn't have to lie and say that "I understand" when people say that are not sure that there is a God or that life continues after death.
- it is not so bad compared to other people's problems
- it is only a problem from your perspective, it looks fine to me
- I am cutting you a break on your issues so how about returning the favor
- now that I confessed it I am forgiven, so I can go on doing it, at least until I am really ready to give it up."
I bet you can think of others if you really want to.
God works on us slowly because we seem to be fighting back all the time. We hold tight to our problems, we love them in some perverse way. Two steps forward, one step back seems to be the order of the day. We neglect the fact, for example, that if we offend someone else, we may be right with on the stance we took that offended them, but if we are ungracious in defending our stance, we have erred in other areas that God has also called us to improve in.
On a theological level that's why the whole idea of total depravity is so important, the fact of the matter is even when we are right, we are wrong. We are in such a state that while we can be certain of our eternal destination, there is little else we can be certain of, especially when it comes to our behavior towards others.
Have you ever confessed to the inadequacies of your confessions? Interesting idea, isn't it? When you are confessing and you get to that "but" I emphasized above, maybe you - maybe we! - ought to stop and confess to the "but" itself. In reality there are no "buts," we are just sinners.
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