Monday, August 23, 2010
Look, I do not want to imply that there is no role for correction in an intimate relationship, but I do not think it defines it. Intimacy also implies knowing when someone is ready to receive correction, and the trust that these posts are full of can only be built from grace. Sometime you correct and sometimes you just love - even about the same sin.
Way too many people think the time for correction is when the consequences of someone's sin has finally come home to roost - yet typically, that is the time when correction is least needed because the problems are so readily apparent. Way too often people expect "fruit" from their correction and end up building distance in a relationship when that never comes to pass - yet, then is when grace is most needed.
The other important thing to remember is that correction is really the Lord's job. We may, from time-to-time, become His tools in that effort - but we need to proceed very carefully, with deep humility.
This entire discussion is based on Proverbs 27:6: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” But just a bit later int hat chapter of Proverbs is verse 17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Correcting someone has a unique and painful way of bouncing back on us. Simon acknowledges this briefly in his first post, but he seems so set on telling us how to correct that he misses what I think is the point.
We have to balance scripture with scripture. Christ said:
John 8:7 - But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."When correcting, our target is often ourselves.