Wednesday, February 08, 2012
How About Be One?
I have been asked numerous times lately how a pastor or pastor’s spouse can find true friends. I understand the question. It’s difficult. Those outside ministry cannot understand how difficult it is for a pastor to find someone to trust.That is just wrong on so many levels. There is some thing wrong if the pastors life if simply sharing can endanger the ministry. There is something very wrong in that pastor's discipleship of the congregation if they are going to titter about so. But mostly this is a model of church as performance instead of community. Like a pop star controlling his/her "image," it reduces church to provider and congregants to consumers.
Here’s the reality. People talk. If the pastor talks…shares a concern…heaven forbid a sin or weakness…people talk. People share with others the juicy news they received from the pastor and/or the pastor’s family. I’ve been burned numerous times by trusting the wrong people with information. It’s wonderful to think that a pastor can be totally transparent with everyone, but honestly, especially in some churches, complete transparency will cause you to lose your ministry. Frankly, it’s made many in the ministry among the most lonely of people. I wish it weren’t true, but it is. (This can be equally true of all kinds of leaders; not just pastors.)
Of course, there are elements of that in any church, but the pastor should be working to overcome them, not survive in them, or accede to them. A pastor must be wise in their selection of friends.
But this I know with certainty. A church will never become a community unless the leaders are a part of it.