Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Single @ Church
Jon Acuff tends to wear thin sometimes - there is only so much significance one can garner from snark until the snark simply becomes a defense mechanism. However, in this post where he let;s you tally up the points to see how well your church handles singleness, he does a pretty good job. Some examples:
Singleness is a state of being. It inhabits our lives for different periods and often at different times. It is common to every person on the planet - I mean let's face it - we're all single for a while and then we are not, and then roughly half the people end up single again. It is not that unique a thing.
And that is the real point here. Yes, the state of being single is different than the state of being married, but it is a very common state and people who are in it are not freakish or weird or anything else. Maybe, just maybe, if we started with that little fact - things would be better.
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Someone pays you the world’s most backhanded compliment: “I just don’t understand how someone as great as you isn’t married yet.” = +1 point
People are constantly volunteering you for things because “you’re single, you’ve got so much free time.” = +1 point
To justify giving a four-week marriage sermon series to a congregation that is 60% single, the pastor throws out one blanket statement like this at the beginning of the series, “And you single people listen up to this too, this well serve you well when you get married.” = +2 points
When people introduce you, they feel compelled to list out your accomplishments, “This is Sally, my single friend who owns her own home, drives a luxury sedan, and has a very, very stable job.” = +3 pointsThere is the problem that this thing is aimed at women, like single men have no issues. It is also skewed very young, Acuff seems to forget that singleness resulting from divorce or death of a spouse is a significant issue. But now I am exercising my own point.
Singleness is a state of being. It inhabits our lives for different periods and often at different times. It is common to every person on the planet - I mean let's face it - we're all single for a while and then we are not, and then roughly half the people end up single again. It is not that unique a thing.
And that is the real point here. Yes, the state of being single is different than the state of being married, but it is a very common state and people who are in it are not freakish or weird or anything else. Maybe, just maybe, if we started with that little fact - things would be better.
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