Monday, November 25, 2013


An Oxymoronic Construction

Cynical is not always funny.

Stuff Christians Like talks about Christian pick-up and put-down lines
So I used sermon time to eye up the talent in the pews (top tip – sermons are the best time for spotting holy hot girls – all their attention will be on the preacher, so they won’t notice you checking them out, plus you can use post-sermon prayers to ask for forgiveness for your lust…) and then come the post-service coffee time I was ready to make my moves. Unfortunately I came across something I wasn’t expecting. The Christian put-down line.

When I was expecting to hear responses like “You can be my Boaz any day” I was hearing terrible things. Things like:
  • When I read in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has good plans for me, and think of you, I feel somewhat cheated
  • My love for you is purely agape
  • I see you as more prayer partner than date partner
  • I have the gift of prophecy, and I have a word for you – celibacy
  • God promised He has a great plan for me, I don’t see how you could fit in with that
  • We are brother and sister in Christ, it would be like incest
  • You need someone with less discernment
  • I’m not sure our callings are compatible
  • It’ll take prayer and fasting on your end…mostly fasting
I am sorry, but the very concept of a "Christian" put down line is oxymoronic. That doesn't mean every girl has to accept every invitation for a date that she gets at church, but it does mean that a Christian might find a more gracious way to say "no thank you." In fact that is pretty gracious as it is.

I think the thing that bothers me most about this is that it is so worldly. Just because you wrap a put down in "godtalk," it is still a put down. This is a classic example of how we dress up like Christians, but never really let the Holy Spirit do the work to transforming us.

I know that humor is a form of correction, but I cannot tell if this humor is correcting or celebrating.


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